Sunday, July 15, 2012

A day that forever changed me....

Today, July 15th, is a day that for the past 6 years has always been a day with a black cloud hanging over it. 

Six years ago on this day....I became a victim of domestic violence. 

A member of the statistics. 

A day that left a huge memory in my mind that may have made the biggest difference ever in my life.  The difference between weak and strong, staying or going...

It may be a day where I felt like I was literally watching myself in a movie where you watch a man beat and throw the woman he is supposed to love, the mother of his child around....however I am still here and standing strong and proud for what I did. 

I left and said enough. 

It is a day where I put myself and my daughter first. 

A day where I said my daughter would not be raised in an abusive home like I was. 

The cycle ended with me....

Tonight around the same hour that it happend 6 years ago...I sit here in tears again...for a very different reason. 

I changed my life and my daughter's life by leaving...that sole act is going to make Miss H's life so much better than what my life was like growing up. 

It may be extremely hard to be a single mom and to play both roles of the parent at home....but it's a lot easier than what it would have been like if I stayed. 

I have tears today because I can't believe where I have come in 6 years....

- finished my bachelor's degree while working full-time and taking care of a baby being a single parent
- working 2 jobs for the past 5 years to support us
- Getting through the weekends adjusting to being without my daughter
- making friends again and letting myself be happy as a single mom and not being ashamed of it anymore. 
- Showing my daughter what it's like to set a goal and to work towards reaching it.  Losing the weight that I've gained over the past very stressful 6 years is like erasing it all and really and truly officially starting over fresh.  
- Becoming a runner....and being strong mentally and physically to do something that I always thought and told myself I could never do. 

I did it....I survived and I'm stronger because I stood up for myself and my child. 

This day may have a horrible memory attached to it...but it has a fresh and amazing start also attached and I couldn't be more happy and proud of myself.


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