Plus in my life I have been through a lot emotional stuff that no child should ever bare on her shoulders and so food became a comfort thing for me, stressed, I eat, worried, I eat, happy I eat....so not good.
Well in this past 6 months to a year, my weight has really started to effect me. I would see pictures of myself and I would literally not recognize myself AT ALL. I would be thinking in my head there is no way that is what I look like but I knew it was true. But I also knew I couldn't do this until I was in the right mentality and part of me was afraid that it was not going to be easy and that I was going to feel like I was stuck at my weight forever.
Well in March my best friend Kristina and I were on a walk together and she was talking about losing weight and I made the suggestion that we should each weigh ourselves each week and report if we lost or gained that past week just for accountability. Well a few weeks went by and no one said anything and then Kristina called me and asked if i was serious about it and I said yes. OH MY GOSH I WAS AFRAID!!!! No turning back now! But I was ready. Kristina came over that Sunday night with her scale and we weighed ourselves and I was shocked, I weighed as much as I did when I was 9 months preggers with Hailey! I had no idea I had creeped up to that high.
Now with being a single mom, it is not easy by any means to try to eat healthy and exercise with a 6 year old! I do not have the money to afford a membership to the gym so I can only exercise when I can get Hailey outside with me on her bike while I walk/run. Believe me when I say this....that is NOT always an easy thing to do! Sometimes I am literally begging her for 1 more block and then we'll go to the park. I'm sure some of the people hearing our conversations thought I was the meanest mom ever but COME ON HAILEY...Mama's got a big bootie and she's gotta walk it off! lol Thankfully though on a few of the colder days in April (go figure it was hot in March and then I start in April and it gets cold out) that my sister Tracy and/or Brother-in-law Chris have watched Hailey for an hour here or there so I could get out and run/walk. THANK YOU GUYS!!!!
As of this morning I have lost 15lbs!!!!! I screamed when I read the scale this morning and got tears in my eyes. I know that in the sceem of things I still have 70lbs to lose but I really thought in my mind that I wouldn't be able to get past 10lb weight loss. I know that might sound silly but I really thought I just wouldn't be able to do it. I am so pumped and so proud of myself!!! No I am not going to put how much I weighed up on here yet because I'm still too embarressed about it but someday you might know but not yet!
I didn't take an actual starting weight picture, I was too afraid to actually put it out there that I was starting even though I knew in my head I was, it was just like my insurance incase it didn't happen or something! lol who knows! But below is a picture I look actually just a few days before we weighed in for the first time and then there are the picture from today. You probably can't really tell a difference but I can. The pants that I have on, (grey ones) are normally the ones that I have to let "stretch out" a little bit before they really fit me but this morning I put them on and the slide right on no problem! Also the jeans that I have on in the starting photo now need to be sewn in about 1 1/2 inches around my waist and they are now baggy in my butt and legs and they were a perfect fit when I had them on in that picture. Pretty awesome!
So there it is, totally putting myself out there! Not the greatest pictures, I should put the same outfit on everytime but again, it's not about what anyone else thinks or sees...I can FEEL the difference already and that's all I'm worried about! I am doing it this time! My goal is that by the fall I am able to run my first 5k and I have NEVER EVER been a runner, let alone running a mile! But I am doing this for myself because I don't want to be the mom who is never in pictures with her daughter because she doesn't like the way she looks and I want to set the right example to Hailey so hopefully she doesn't struggle with weight and eating issues like I have most of my life.