Thursday, November 8, 2012

Yes I Did It...Don't Judge!

What did I do? 

I've done the Online Dating thing....ahhh!!!

Being a single parent and having my daughter the majority of the time and most (ok ALL) of my friends being married, I had no one to go out with to just meet people, even a bar, no one.  Yeah all my friends up and decided to go and get married and leave me alone I guess or something...oh so rude!  geez guys!  for reals!

So being the only single friend in my group of friends and a single really didn't set up for the greatest opportunities to meet other single guys! 

Plus when you're a mommy and trying to just have a lot of different priorities out there in the dating world.  You aren't out there lookin' for just "Mr Ok for right now" you are looking for THE guy...ya have a family with, to fill the empty position in our family that needs(and want) to be filled. 

Many people are ashamed of it or lie about how they met someone but for reals...what's to be ashamed of?  It's no different than meeting strangers at a soccer field or at the grocery store...ya just gotta be smart about it and trust your gut. 

I have met some amazing men while I was on the online dating scene who even though it didn't work out with I became great friends with and then I've also met some real doozies. 

Key to online to have fun with it and not take it or yourself to seriously. 

I have went on several first dates and even though I may have gotten my feelings hurt, been royally amazed at what I've seen or heard, it made me grow more confident in myself and I learned to just enjoy it all. 

I have went on dates with farmers, Drs, Lawyers, students, mechanics, computer nerds, comedians, single dads and even *kind of* a celebrity.

I've been set up on dates by some friends or co-workers or even people who have only met me once at a jewelry show and thought they knew someone I would click with. 

Probably some of my favorite dates were those with other single dads.  I  never thought I would want to date someone with other kids just because it's harder when  your time without your kids doesn't match up...that almost always ends it.  However I did enjoy connecting with other single dad's because we had something in common...BUT being a single parent for 6 years myself...I'm no fool and I know there are always THREE sides to the story and one of those being the truth.  I'd often just want to laugh when a guy would blame everything on his ex but he'd be repeatedly be texting me from a bar on his "off days" without his kids.  Really??  Your sure it was ALL  your wife's problems that caused the divorce??  I'm guessing not. 

I'm a pretty open person and I know what my beliefs are and know where I stand on many issues but I can still keep an open mind and be respectful of others opinions and ideas...and because of this...I've heard it all. 

 On the first date with the "celebrity comedian" that moved from LA to Cincinnati, somehow we got on the topic of religion by him (rule #1 in don't talk about these hot topics the first time you meet).  Needless to was a DISASTER of a first date. 

I should have walked out on him. And probably slapped him. 

I kind of wish I would have just to be able to say that I did that once in my life!  ha!  But I didn't...why?  Because I was just either in shock or amazed at what was coming out of his mouth on the first date.  I won't even go into it but it definitely went down in the records as the worst date ever!

I've dated guys for a week, a month, a couple of months, and a couple of years....and no matter what...sometimes the movie is exactly right...


He is just not that into you...or you're just not that into him.  And that is A-O-KAY!

Dating can be mature and honest and real and fun!  It's not high school's ok to admit you just don't feel it with that person and if they are mature enough they'll be respectful of that and if not...well you just got your confirmation that you definitely were right! 

I've gone in phases with online dating...I'll be on it for 3 months and then go for 6 months not doing any dating. 

I am totally comfortable being by myself.  That is one thing that I made sure I did before I ever started dating that I wasn't dating because I needed a guy. 

I don't need a guy to survive. 

I can open all jars and containers by myself thank you very much.  
Best tool for any single mom to own right here

I can fix almost anything or at least know who to call (my brother-in-law or my BFF's husband ha!)

I don't want to need a guy...I want to have a guy in my life because he makes me happy, he is my partner in crime.  He's my ying to my yang...kinda of stuff. 

This past spring I had been in one of my "I'm so over dating" phases because I had yet again let another ex of mine become a potential boyfriend again and was just over it.  (girls...seriously...once an ex they should always, and I mean ALWAYS, remain an ex)

Well that lasted a couple of months and then I got the itch to go on a first date again and I signed up for a free site I had never heard of and thought what the heck! 

Well I was on it for 1 day and only talked to one guy and I met this guy. 

Yes I had to make a picture of us "together"...I'm so bad about this. 
Isn't he cute??  I'll have to get another better picture of us.  And he doesn't know I'm doing this so we'll see how long it takes him to notice!  :)

He instantly broke my #1 rule in dating was NOT dating anyone from the original area I grew up.  I was so over dating guys from that area that it was just a waste of my time.  However, he is the exception because he doesn't live up there but he's from there which is perfect.  I knew he had come from a great family and a great town and so I gave him a chance.  After much google and facebook stalking...we met. 

Whaaat?  You ALWAYS google your just don't tell them that you actually do that! 

And it has been crazy ever since but it's been great.  He makes me comfortable with who I am.  The second time we hung out he came over to my house and I didn't even wear make up around him!  I NEVER see anyone without make up and for some reason I felt that comfortable around him.  He doesn't care if I lose weight...he likes me just the way I am. 

He just volunteers to do things for me and to make things easier on me.  If he's over on a Wednesday night when my trash is going out...he'll just take it out for me just because he knows it's gotta be done.  WOW!!! 

He may drive me crazy sometimes with his bachelor habits but he makes me smile more than anyone has in a long time. 

Plus he looks HOT in a suit and I always wanted a guy who could rock a suit! 

So who knows what will happen...we've been together for 6 months now and I don't see him going anywhere anytime soon. 

Yes I met him online (he wants to say we met through mutual friends ha!) but I can't do that!  Girlfriends want details and all my friends know each other so they would be lookin' at each other wondering who it was! 

So I guess my point is...if you're a single parent or just a single the online dating thing at least once and remember to have fun with it!  Take it serious enough for your safety but not so much that you think you'll meet THE one on the first date. 

Just have fun and see what happens! 

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