A day that forever changed me....

Today, July 15th, is a day that for the past 6 years has always been a day with a black cloud hanging over it. 

Six years ago on this day....I became a victim of domestic violence. 

A member of the statistics. 

A day that left a huge memory in my mind that may have made the biggest difference ever in my life.  The difference between weak and strong, staying or going...

It may be a day where I felt like I was literally watching myself in a movie where you watch a man beat and throw the woman he is supposed to love, the mother of his child around....however I am still here and standing strong and proud for what I did. 

I left and said enough. 

It is a day where I put myself and my daughter first. 

A day where I said my daughter would not be raised in an abusive home like I was. 

The cycle ended with me....

Tonight around the same hour that it happend 6 years ago...I sit here in tears again...for a very different reason. 

I changed my life and my daughter's life by leaving...that sole act is going to make Miss H's life so much better than what my life was like growing up. 

It may be extremely hard to be a single mom and to play both roles of the parent at home....but it's a lot easier than what it would have been like if I stayed. 

I have tears today because I can't believe where I have come in 6 years....

- finished my bachelor's degree while working full-time and taking care of a baby being a single parent
- working 2 jobs for the past 5 years to support us
- Getting through the weekends adjusting to being without my daughter
- making friends again and letting myself be happy as a single mom and not being ashamed of it anymore. 
- Showing my daughter what it's like to set a goal and to work towards reaching it.  Losing the weight that I've gained over the past very stressful 6 years is like erasing it all and really and truly officially starting over fresh.  
- Becoming a runner....and being strong mentally and physically to do something that I always thought and told myself I could never do. 

I did it....I survived and I'm stronger because I stood up for myself and my child. 

This day may have a horrible memory attached to it...but it has a fresh and amazing start also attached and I couldn't be more happy and proud of myself.

Difference a running buddy can make!

Last night while Miss H was at Vacation Bible School (VBS), I had my first opportunity this week to go for a run since Monday night.  And....I was nervous! 

I tried to get a hold of my sister but we kept missing each other to see if we wanted to run together and so I just went out on my own.  My goal was to run 1.5-2 miles.  That's not that far but that's about what I can do right now without having to stop and catch my breathe and then start over again. 

The run went a lot better than I thought it would!  I felt good.  I wasn't really paying attention to my breathing and my legs felt good, little sore but I like that feeling.  Knowing I'm pushing myself harder.  The only different when I run by myself is I only have myself to lean on to push myself to keep going (duh right??) and that's hard for me!  My mind totally starts to kill me and I have to really start focusing on shorter distances. 

"I'll get to that mailbox ahead and if I want to stop at that point I can"...and then I keep going and then I pick a new distance. 

However, since I've started running more with my sister Tracy and my BFF Kristina...they have helped me realize that I CAN go a lot further than what my mind thinks I can.  Plus they push me to keep going.  Just seeing them going keeps my mind focused on them and what they are doing and I just keep moving my arms and legs. 

But the fact last night I ran that far by myself was a prety big accomplishment because just a few weeks ago, I would have thought I couldn't do it!  Last night while I was running I was thinking to myself...look at YOU!  You are doing this!  Who would have ever thouht ME, SARAH?!?! Could run 2 miles without stopping???  Definitely not me!  Let's just say I had a pretty goofy big smile on my face at one point during my run last night.  :o) 

Now that I can do 2 miles....I want to push myself to 2.5miles.  And then 3 miles....and then I'm signing up for my next 5k.  I'm not going to do one until I know for sure I can run it all. 

Even though I'm running to lose weight but I'm also doing it to prove to myself I can do something that was always a huge struggle for me.  I'm feeling amazing!  

26lbs lost!

26lbs lost 

Have a great weekend!!!

Getting to know....My body

For the past 3 months now since I have started on my weight loss journey I've really started to learn more about my body and what it can or cannot handle. 

- Fatty/Fried/Greasy foods....cause pain in my stomach afterwards now...never did that before! 

- Also realizing how your girly cycle can even effect your body and how really...I can't look at my weight until I've gone through a whole month.

- Increasing my metabolism by eating more often AND exercising allows me to "cheat" every now and then and not drastically effect my weight. 

- Also I sleep a TON better than what I used to now that I work out and eat better.  I could lay in bed for hours and always feel like I needed a nap.  Now if I'm tired (what single parent or any parent in general isn't) taking a 15 minute nap really does recharge me and allow me to move on with my day if I need a nap at all! 

- Even though the scale means a lot to me when I'm trying to lose weight...paying attention to my body and how I feel....are more important!

I've been getting discouraged looking at my weekly loss and it's nothing to be excited about.  The number is going down and that's all that matters!!!  However...when I look at the big picture of things....I've lost 24lbs in 3 months that's 8 lbs a month!!!!  THAT is pretty awesome!!!  And looking at it like that, makes me realize that I'm going at the rate that I should be going at! 

Other good news!  I am only 8lbs away from telling you how much I weigh now and what I was when I first started!! 

And this morning I tried on a vest that I LOVE for work and it fit me better than it ever has!!! 

Now THAT is a good start to any day!!!

Miss H is getting pretty good at using my iphone to take pictures!!!

I cheated...there I said it!

So last night while Miss H went to Vacation Bible School....the boy and I went out for pizza. 

I didn't think twice about it...

And I had coke....not even diet...don't judge!

Big Ol' pizza!

And you know what.....

the DARN SCALE went down .8lbs this morning???? 

Explain that ONE to me please!!! 

It's awesome...but seriously?  It shouldn't have gone done! 

Lately I've been reallly thinking that maybe I need to up my calorie intake.  It doesn't happen every single time but sometimes when I eat a higher calorie day...the scale will drop and it surprises me. 

I'm gonna try to figure this one out.  Obviously I don't quite get how my body works yet and I think if I do...that'll help with my weight loss that much more. 

So eat pizza....who knows...you might drop some weight!  *eye roll*  Moving on...gonna run 2 miles tonight! 

Weekly Weigh-In...huh???

So I weighed myself this morning...REALLY hoping to finally hit the 25lb weight loss...but no...after running 6 miles this weekend and 1.5 miles last night I have lost .8lbs in the last week. 

Yes it's better than nothing and better than gaining anything but still....ALL THAT for not even a pound lost???  *sigh*  oh well...1 small step at a time. 

Total weight loss to date is 23.9lbs. 

Last night to make me feel better I measured myself because I haven't in a while to see if I have lost any inches. 

Here are my starting numbers back from February 15th (when I started to slightly get serious about weight loss)

Arms - 15"
Thighs - 27"
Waist - 46"
Bust - 46.5"
Hips - 50
neck - 15.5" 

As of last night

Arms - 13.5"  -1.5"
Thighs - 24"   -3"
Waist - 41"    -5"
Bust - 42"      -4.5"
Hips - 45"     -5"
Neck - 15"    -.5"

Total inches lost - 19.5 inches!!

Pretty exciting! 

The last time that I measured myself a month ago I lost an 1/2" in my arms, 1 inch in my thighs, 1 inch in my hips and 1/2" in my neck. 

Always nice to see that even though the scale may not be moving like crazy .... obviously what I'm doing is working. 

Happy Tuesday! 

6 miles in 3 days!

This weekend I had all to myself and so I took advantage of being alone and ran as much as I could. 

Friday night at 8:30pm I went on a run with my sister Tracy.  It's been rediulously hot out lately and so we went as late as we could with still having sunlight out and it was still 100* out!  My sister is one of those REAL runner peeps...you know...ran cross country and track in high school and I think she even ran a half marathon at some point too...show off!  However, I was really excited to be able to run with her.  We did 2 miles and the fact that I could do that with her was an awesome feeling.  Yes I slowed her down (haha!) and she tried to help me with my form (another funny moment...this girl can only do so much with being a McFatty at the moment) but it was fun.  I may or may not have had to run right to my house afterwards to go pee but that's besides the point...I did it and I ran with my Runner of a Sister and plan to do it a lot more!

Saturday morning us crazy kids (my friend Kristina and I) got up at 5:50am to meet at the park to run at 6am.  Let's just say that was rough, I was tired and it was still HOT OUT at 6am!!!



6:03am

Nice thing about running is, it literally doesn't matter what you look like and so when I woke up late to get to the park I could literally just throw my hair in a pony tail and throw a sports bra on and running tank/shorts and run out the door.  Got to the park and I started stretching, I knew I was gonna be tight with running the night before hand and really wanted to make sure I could get loose before Kristina came. 

Lookin' oh so scary fine Saturday morning while stretching

You know its early when the moon is still out and your up for the day!


Kristina and I ran 2 miles together, I was hurting at the end of it.  My knee and ankle were hurting and it wasn't from soreness it was pain.  We stopped to get some water and stretch out again and decided to walk the last mile just because I didn't want to over due and hurt myself.  I've never ran this much in consecutive days and knew I needed to watch it. 

Did a lot of this Saturday...icing the knee and the shins

Saturday night I took the dog on a walk and it was still again so stinkin' hot, sweating just standing there letting him pee...so gross but it felt good to get out and stretch my legs more. 

Toby!

Sunday morning I got up around 7am and went to let Toby out and it was amazing!  It was cool out and there was a breeze!!!!  Felt so good out and it got me up and wanting to go for a run.  So I got dressed and stretched and went out for a 2 mile run.  And there were a TON of runners out...and I was apart of that group!!!  It was beautiful out and I really enjoyed it.  Got my 2 miles in and then I took Toby on a good 2 mile walk as well while I ate my breakfast and drank some water. 

so pretty!

runners every where!

Feelin' great!

Went to church after all  of this and then was lazy and then headed to Kristina's house to hang out by the pool. 

Church outfit

kiddie pool!

Also this weekend I cut up a bunch of veggies, really trying to make sure I eat more fresh ones and just have some available for when I am craving my crunch! 

Overall it was a great weekend.  Got a lot of running in and enjoyed some time to myself but I am so glad to have Miss H back from her dads.  Missed that little buggar! 

Happy Monday!
Sarah

Love me some crunch!

Random fact of the day....I am a crunch girl.  Love a good crunch...doesn't matter what it is...I love a good crunch and today I was seriously craving that. 

Full Bag this morning...

Few hours later around lunch time...

They all disappeared! 

Yes I love me some crunch and carrots do the trick just the same as pretzels will.  And this entire bag was around 192 calories...but those are GOOD calories...so who cares! 

When I was pregnant with Hailey I would do this a lot while at work to try to fight against my chocolate cravings....my co-workers would gag and have an endless supply of jokes for how I could destroy a bag of carrots. 

And you know what sucks....for as many carrots as I eat...I wear contacts!   So much for all those carrots I ate as a kid...what a joke! 

Are you a crunch lovin' girl or do you crave something else?  Sweet?  Salty?